Daraius’ Diary: “Even a Mean Jerk Would Rescue a Child”

Daraius’ Diary: “Even a Mean Jerk Would Rescue a Child”

Million Mile SecretsDaraius’ Diary: “Even a Mean Jerk Would Rescue a Child”Million Mile Secrets Team

Disclosure: We get a commission for links on the blog. You don’t have to use our links, but we’re very grateful when you do. American Express, Capital One, Chase, and US Bank are Million Mile Secrets advertising partners. Opinions expressed here are the author's alone, and have not been reviewed, approved or endorsed by our partners.

Daraius:  We’ve got a great team at Million Mile Secrets helping with posts.  But I miss writing as much as I did in the old days!  So here I am writing about stuff that I really care about.  And which isn’t all miles-and-points related.

Know that everyone has a sense of basic humanity – even the person acting like a complete jerk right now would probably rescue a child in danger. – Dr. Stosny

Daraius Diary Even A Mean Jerk Would Rescue A Child
I See Someone With Different Political Opinions as Just Someone With Different Political Opinions.

I’ve read Dr. Stosny’s books and attended his workshop on how to turn anger and resentment into compassion.  I’m always inspired by his message that valuing someone or something leads to much more  contentment than blaming or being angry about someone or something.

Disagreeing Respectfully Is Powerfully Peaceful

Link:  Basic Humanity and Well-Being

I was surprised and shocked to read that 59% of Americans and 72% of children report feeling anxious after the recent presedential election.

One of the most surprising things to me about the US, as an immigrant, is that folks get really, really upset about elections and politics.  I’ve lived & travelled in places where the most unpopular US politician would be a mere dilettante and folks would scarcely raise an eyebrow.

Dr. Stosny writes:

Anxious times seem to bring out the worst in people.  They make us intolerant of disagreement, divide us into factions, and, in the worst case, lead us to demonize those who seem different.  We can hardly speak without using negative labels.  In anxious times, we seek to devalue rather than understand.

Sure, folks in those countries complain vociferously about their politicians.  But those differences are put aside when folks connect with their family and friends.  Many of them seem to have an innate understanding that connection with people as humans is much more important than being “right” about the choice of politician.

Daraius Diary Even A Mean Jerk Would Rescue A Child
Dad and I Don’t Agree on Everything. But I Still Look Forward to Lots of Shared Meals With Him. 🙂

So I feel sad to see the current social environment in the US where folks openly feel disgusted, hostile, and very angry toward those who don’t hold similar opinions.  Even their neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family.

I understand that folks are scared and vulnerable, and that gives way as anger and disparagement.  But I feel scared because it isn’t very compassionate or efficient.

Dehumanizing Folks Who Feel Differently Hurts Me

Dr. Stosny suggests an experiment over the next 2 weeks or longer to develop a sense of well-being and peace.

 –  Be proactive rather than reactive.  Replace: “I’ll be respectful to you if you agree with me and validate my worldview,” with, “I’ll be respectful to you because it’s the right thing to do and will make it more likely that you’ll be respectful to someone else, who then may be respectful to yet another person.”

–  Know that everyone has a sense of basic humanity – even the person acting like a complete jerk right now would probably rescue a child in danger.

–  Realize that you raise self-value by valuing others and lower it by devaluing others.

–  Recognize that most people are more frail than cruel.

–  Do some small thing every day to make the world a better place – a small act of compassion or kindness.

I especially like the suggestion that being respectful of someone who does NOT agree with my own worldview isn’t a sign of weakness.  In fact, it is much more likely to ensure that more folks are respectful of others.

Bottom Line

Oftentimes I find it easy to blame someone and to get angry and to devalue others.  But as Dr. Stosny points out, even someone acting like a complete jerk (likely because he or she is unable to express or get to the emotions beneath the anger) would probably save a child in distress.

Ultimately, I get to choose what type of world I create.  And I’d rather create a world where I am compassionate towards folks (especially those who act in ways that I find distressing).

I know this is hard – especially when the person in front of me is taking a long time to order food when I’m starving. 🙂

If you liked this post, why don’t you join the 25,000+ readers who have signed-up to receive free blog posts via email (only 1 email per day!) or in an RSS reader …because then you’ll never miss another update!

Chase Sapphire Preferred® Card

Chase Sapphire Preferred® Card

  • Earn 50,000 bonus points after you spend $4,000 on purchases in the first 3 months from account opening. That's $625 toward travel when you redeem through Chase Ultimate Rewards®
  • Chase Sapphire Preferred® named a 'Best Travel Credit Card' by MONEY® Magazine, 2016-2017
  • 2X points on travel and dining at restaurants worldwide & 1 point per dollar spent on all other purchases.
  • Earn 5,000 bonus points after you add the first authorized user and make a purchase in the first 3 months from account opening
  • No foreign transaction fees
  • 1:1 point transfer to leading airline and hotel loyalty programs
  • Get 25% more value when you redeem for travel through Chase Ultimate Rewards. For example, 50,000 points are worth $625 toward travel.
  • No blackout dates or travel restrictions - as long as there's a seat on the flight, you can book it through Chase Ultimate Rewards

More Info

Editorial Disclaimer: Neither the editorial content nor the comments on this site are provided by the companies whose products are featured. Any opinions, analyses, reviews or evaluations provided here are those of the author's alone, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by the Advertiser.

Add comment

E-mail is already registered on the site. Please use the Login form or enter another.

You entered an incorrect username or password

Sorry, you must be logged in to post a comment.


by Newest
by Best by Newest by Oldest

Agreed, please keep politics OUT OF THIS SITE. There are many other places to go for that stuff.

Yea, I found the Unsubscribe link....

I am serious about unsubscribing... where is the "unsubscribe" link ?

@Cindy and Rick

Thanks for providing me with the opportunity to educate you on the rights many of the members of the GOP would like to take away from me as well as rights which I would love to have:

1) The right to not be fired as a result of sexual orientation (still on books in many states)

2) The right to marry the one I love and have all those inherent rights opposite sex couples enjoy, which include healthcare benefits from companies that provide employees and their opposite sex spouse coverage, but not same sex coverage.

3) Permission to frequent the restroom to which you identify - better yet, I don't understand why all bathrooms aren't unisex.

4) Adoption rights for same sex couples are constantly under attack.

5) The term marriage is under attack

6) Religious Freedom act allows businesses to claim Religious Freedom which opens the door to discriminate.

7) Sodomy is still on books in a few states even though Supreme Court ruled against it.

When you give your country to a hate filled platform and when you elect a person who has no basic decency or respect for others (women, elderly, sick, immigrants, environment) you have started a fight between good and evil. Same here and any decent minded American citizen should be appalled by what is going on in this hate filled rhetoric that was instigated by this man. It is time for peaceful action and to take back our country which has been hijacked by hate and right wing vile rhetoric.

Load more