Author Archives: Points Envy

Points: A Love Story

Posted on March 10, 2013 | 10 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

While we recognize that most people are not so quick to associate romance and the Points Game (aside from maximizing earnings on gift purchases and hotel rooms), this week on Billion Mile Secrets we recount the touching story of one points-enthused couple for whom lounges and premium cabins provided the backdrop for a thrilling but turbulent romance.

Like most of you, the first time we heard Rihanna sing that she had “found love in a hopeless place,” we assumed she was referring to the Admiral’s Club at LAX, a depressing place where we too had found love more than thirty times in 2012.  Once, while finding love in the shower room, we noticed the initials S.P. and D.M. carved into a heart in the ceiling.  We added the initials “P.E.” inside the heart for fun, and then vaguely remembered that we had seen the same initials in a heart in a Thai Airways first class restroom once, where we had also made our mark. Continue reading →

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Posted in American Airlines, Credit Cards, Southwest, Trip Reports, US Air

Points Envy’s Newsreal

Posted on March 3, 2013 | Leave a comment

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

A lot of exciting things have happened in the Points World over the last week or two, and this week at Billion Mile Secrets we are bringing you up to speed on some of the most significant developments.  As President Thomas Jefferson once said, “Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own points balances.  E pluribus unum.”

  • Delta Airlines and Starwood Preferred Guest have teamed up, creating an unlikely alliance between the most valuable hotel loyalty program and the least valuable frequent flyer program.  We only hope that SPG has a solid prenup in place. Continue reading →

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Posted in American Express, Club Carlson, Delta Skymiles, Starwood (SPG), Ultimate Rewards, Uncategorized, US Bank

Hilton Puts the Honor Back in HHonors

Posted on February 24, 2013 | 34 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

We have been called many things over the years – diamond, preferred, racist, platinum, gold, best ever, executive – all with varying frequency.  But one thing we’ve never not been called is elite, and that used to mean something.

These days, everyone has access to the benefits that used to be reserved for the best of the best.  Programs have made it too easy to earn and redeem points, which could not have been made any clearer than when we ran into a backpacker staying in the room next to us last week at the St. Regis Bangkok.

Thankfully, hotel loyalty programs are realizing how unacceptable this is, and we are pleased to see Hilton Honors become the latest program to make its award chart more exclusive.

Restoring integrity

Continue reading →

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Posted in Hilton HHonors, Hotels

Points Envy Delivers 2013 State of the Points World Address

Posted on February 17, 2013 | 6 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

Also note: The following is a transcript of Points Envy’s 2013 State of the Points World Address, delivered February 14 at our local JPMorgan Chase branch.

Mr. Morgan-Chase, Mrs. Teller, fellow points fiends and miles junkies:

More than forty years ago, a man employed by Western Direct Marketing, a small advertising firm looking for a way to build customer loyalty for its client United Airlines, had a vision that would forever change the world of travel.  Relying on his G-d-given creativity and breakfast whiskeys, he had the revolutionary idea of rewarding customers in direct proportion to the number of miles they flew.

Over time this idea spread to other airlines and even to hotels.  As customers started building accounts with the new rewards they received for traveling, banks saw an opportunity to reward their customers with the same luscious non-currency in return for the customer accumulating debt.  And so reward credit cards were born, working with modern loyalty programs to comprise what we righteous points fiends refer to endearingly as “The Game.” Continue reading →

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Posted in Airline Award Booking, Airlines, Blog History, Credit Cards, Credit Cards, Hotels, Mile and Point Resources, Philosophy

Points Envy on Valentine’s Day: The American Airlines and US Airways Merger

Posted on February 10, 2013 | 5 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

Over the past week the blogosphere and the various news media outlets have been abuzz with reports that an official announcement of the merger between American Airlines and US Airways is imminent.  While we at Points Envy only use these carriers in emergency situations, given that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner we felt compelled to take a closer look at this heartwarming romance.  Today on Billion Mile Secrets, we will analyze the news, offer our insights, and discuss what the merger could mean for your points balances.

Our discussion begins with a closer look the airline mating ritual.  In this case, American Airlines started things off by sending signals of availability when it publicly declared bankruptcy, the airline equivalent of a scantily-clad sorority girl saying, “Oh mygud I’m suuhhh drunk.”  Unfortunately, a few subsequent unladylike mishaps only served to further underline the airline’s aura of desperation.  Hoping to avoid a true runway taxiing of shame, the airline has since officially gone under the knife for some “enhancements.”

The new AA.  Hot or not?

Continue reading →

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Posted in American Airlines, US Air

Points Envy: Travel Hacking Goes to Business School

Posted on February 3, 2013 | 2 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

We all know that business travelers comprise a large portion of the general population of miles and points junkies, and that FlyerTalk is littered with rubbish MBAs.  This week at Billion Mile Secrets we head to the forefront of elite American education to lend our expertise to a revolutionary new curriculum designed for tomorrow’s foremost business professionals.

The connection between business schools and frequent travel is incredibly strong, resulting largely from MBA programs breeding consultants and other professionals who regularly fly around the world spouting knowledge for a hefty fee, all the while racking up points and miles on their companies’ dimes.  Hell, we even occasionally get consulting gigs just for the points earnings, as we’re usually able to take about eight to ten free trips before getting fired.

Of course, we all know that business school is, like business class, a huge joke.  History clearly demonstrates that either you are born rich or you will never understand business.  That is, until now. Continue reading →

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Posted in Beginner Tips, Mile and Point Resources

Points Envy’s Caviar Death Match: Asiana vs. Cathay Pacific

Posted on January 27, 2013 | 12 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

The primary reason we invest all of our time in the points game is to fly first class, and one of the main reasons we enjoy first so much is the caviar.  Unfortunately, not all airlines’ caviars are created equal.  Fortunately, we at Points Envy have tried them all, and this week at Billion Mile Secrets we pit two of the best against each other in the fanciest cage match in the history of airline fine dining.

Before we get started, we’ll run through a quick primer for those of you less familiar with the champagne of the sea that is caviar.  When two fish find they truly love each other, they venture to a special nook of the sea to make sweet fish love and produce succulent pearls that, without proper intervention, would become more useless fish.  Thankfully, master seamen have learned to extract these eggs and sell them to airlines, who in turn serve them to worthy humans.

On our most recent trip to the Orient, we flew Asiana’s new first class suites on the outbound leg and returned in Cathay Pacific’s popular first class.  At first glance, these products might appear much the same, but the Korean and Chinese carriers would be offended if mixed up for one another.  They do much to distinguish their caviar services, and today we will judge them on these efforts. Continue reading →

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Posted in Cathay Pacific, Travel Tips, Trip Reports

Points Envy’s Unconventional, but Lucrative Ways to Earn Points

Posted on January 20, 2013 | 27 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

In the past, we at Points Envy have broken the news on some of the most creative ways to earn points, and this week’s Billion Mile Secrets post is no exception.  Below we outline some brand new, tried-and-true, experimental, traditional, revolutionary ways to generate the points you need.

Method #1: Sleep Your Way to the Top
The key to this method is to first familiarize yourself with the personal lives of employees of numerous loyalty programs.  For legal reasons, we can’t reveal any specifics, but our general method is to identify an acceptably good-looking employee, follow them to their place of residence, seduce them, get them addicted to our love, and convince them to augment our account with extra points.  If the employee is already in a relationship, that’s even better, as you only need one night and a camera to get all the points and status you need.

Method #2: Complain About Everything
This is borderline conventional, but sometimes people overlook the little things that only a refined traveler can appreciate.  For example, on our most recent Asiana flight, one of the flight attendants failed to refer to us as “sir” the eighth time she refilled our champagne. Continue reading →

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Posted in Earn Miles, Mile and Point Resources

The Art of the Cancellation Call

Posted on January 13, 2013 | 20 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

Canceling a credit card (or “cancelling,” when referring to the British Airways Visa) can be a harrowing experience, particularly the first few dozen times.  But given that it is as integral to the points game as the reconsideration call, this week at Billion Mile Secrets we will guide you through some of the finer points of this delicate process and share some strategies we’ve developed over the years.

There are few certainties in the points game, but two things we can always count on are: (1) no U.S. Airways representative will ever truly understand that airline’s award ticketing rules, and (2) most of the best rewards cards will charge an annual fee.  With regard to the latter, we find it helpful to put each card in perspective before a cancellation call by asking ourself some pertinent questions.

How much is the card’s annual fee, and do you earn points for said fee?  How does the card fit into your overall credit card portfolio?  Does the card still get you physically excited?  Does it look cool?  Remember, your ultimate goal here is to maximize your card’s benefits while spending as little cash as possible.

To get ourself in the mood for the call, we generally enjoy a few glasses of fine champagne and have a little sit-down with the card in question.  We’ll reread the card benefits, feel the card for a while (front and back), talk to it a bit, maybe taste it, really whatever it takes just to make sure we know what we might be giving up.

The Points Phone

AMEX gave us a solid gold phone for keeping our Hilton HHonors card open.

Continue reading →

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Posted in Cancel Credit Card, Credit Cards

Professional Credit Cards for Amateurs

Posted on January 6, 2013 | 16 Comments

Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

This post is a humorous look at credit cards and is NOT an actual tutorial on credit cards.

This week on Billion Mile Secrets we throw a bone to the points and miles newbies.  Given how long we’ve put in work to earn our rightful place in the game, we often tend to overlook the little people (those with less than 20 million points or miles).  But in the spirit of giving back and the New Year and other such meaningless things, what follows is a clear course of action for 2013 for those of you who may just be embarking on your quest towards points glory.

For the card strategy below, we recommend you have a decent credit score and that you not be applying for any loans in the short-term future.  It also helps if you have citizenship with at least two countries and a steady six- or seven-figure income.  If your actual income is, like ours, closer to three or four figures, you can just fake that part. Continue reading →

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Posted in Beginner Tips, Credit Cards, Credit Cards