Hilton Puts the Honor Back in HHonors

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Note: This post is satire and you shouldn’t follow any of Points Envy’s suggestions, nor should you break the law.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.

We have been called many things over the years – diamond, preferred, racist, platinum, gold, best ever, executive – all with varying frequency.  But one thing we’ve never not been called is elite, and that used to mean something.

These days, everyone has access to the benefits that used to be reserved for the best of the best.  Programs have made it too easy to earn and redeem points, which could not have been made any clearer than when we ran into a backpacker staying in the room next to us last week at the St. Regis Bangkok.

Thankfully, hotel loyalty programs are realizing how unacceptable this is, and we are pleased to see Hilton Honors become the latest program to make its award chart more exclusive.

Given that we don’t care about how many points a stay will cost, we haven’t actually looked at the updated chart.  We have however noticed many of our blogging counterparts crying about an industry-wide “devaluation,” whining that more and more points will be required for quality hotel redemptions in the future.

Even The Points Guy, whom we look up to, if only physically, wrote a piece about the change that reminded us of something we had previously read.  It would seem that “devaluation” has replaced “app-o-rama” as the king of annoying buzz words.

But we implore you, dear readers, to ask yourselves: how do you devalue something that is worthless?  Hilton may have famously lost a pillow fight to Marriott, but the chain is winning the equally important fight for justice in the world of luxury hotels.

Simply put, we stand with Hilton in weeding out the riff raff in order to exclusivise the HHonors program.  While other bloggers say they won’t accept these changes lying down, we look forward to lying happily in a Serenity Bed at the Hilton Chicago O’Hare in a few months.  And to think it will only cost us 350,000 points per night!

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34 responses to “Hilton Puts the Honor Back in HHonors

  1. nonsense post

  2. Filler and unimpressive at that. I’m sure Daraius want to give loyal readers something new each day but it’s better to let a couple of days go by without anything new, than to fill it with garbage and the recurrent “satire” posts. This one bites.

  3. Let me give you a piece of advice… consider your audience before you start calling yourself “elite” suggesting you should not be sleeping in the same hotel with backpackers, as if they are a deadly disease.

  4. Zodi doesn’t understand satire.

    In short, people who stay at luxury brand hotels and don’t care anything about points (because they’re loaded with cash – most versatile points of all) don’t want to stay at the same hotel that you do.

    They don’t want to live in your neighborhood or drive the same cars you do.

    Points used to be a way for frequent travelers to get a taste of the high life on vacations. When its easily accessible to anyone, it devalues the luxury hotel brand and allure. Full fare guests don’t like that and the hotel brands will react, devaluing their programs.

  5. Worthless drivel

  6. Oops.. Just wasted my time reading this again. I thought it was from MMS. I have been ignoring the Stupid Envy posts since his 2nd or 3rd post here on MMS. I forgot it’s Sunday…

  7. Darn, I forgot it was sunday and got tricked on clicking to read the ssite because of the title

  8. Totally agree with Kent C. We don’t need a filler if it is a bad one.

  9. I liked this one. It was funny and short.

  10. Funny! I got it–devaluation blah blah–I’m not happy about it either and have followed the blogs’ advice to book reward stays now–great advice, btw. Still, at this point I don’t need to hear more whining on the subject and this piece was a refreshing change of pace. What’s sad (but obviously inderstandable) is that you even needed to point out that it was satire.

  11. Being a geek in a bow tie is cute,but being an elite ass is another matter. It seems you’ve reduced your blog to foolish post and
    re runs of old info and of your first class family vacations of India or Bora Bora, again and again. Boring boring…
    Ask the Hilton’s to give you a wake up call.

  12. Love You Daraius!!!!……………..BUT WHERE’S THE BEEF?…………..PLEASE lay Points Envy to rest. Interview the Miles Professor, she’s hot…………Fred Norris says Hi.

  13. Is this supposed to be entertaining?

  14. Great story!
    I totally agree, that me, who hasn’t paid for a hotel stay nor taken a airplane flight in over three years DOES NOT deserve Elite status of any kind, in any program.
    I am hereby resigning my membership from all of the travel programs where I have elite status and donating all of my airline miles and hotel points to every person who has ever been in Oprah’s audience for a taping of her show…..

  15. great website I read every day but this article was pointless

  16. This should have been longer. Very funny. Keep it up! It’s even funnier to read the comments where people still don’t get that this is satire, even when you tell them!

  17. For those of you who don’t like the Points Envy articles, just don’t bother to read them. Frankly, I mainly read them for the whiny comments from those with no sense of humor.

    And those of you who don’t like the homey travel reports, with endless photos of Emily, once again the title will make it clear what it’s about, just skip those. Lots of us like those travel reports. I know I especially liked the series about Tahiti, and while it made me less likely to go there now, at least it means if I do go I will be far less disappointed than I would have been.

    I’m enjoying the series about Emily’s mom and India. But if that’s not for you, there are some awesome articles on some of the other travel blogs right now. Gary has a post on “Hyatt’s New Toiletries Across Brands and Regions”, MommyPoints has one on how to prepare a 3 year old for going thru Airport Security, and Lucky has one complaining about how he only has a few weeks to reserve rooms with his 500K HHonors points before they get devalued. See, lots of variety, just take your pick. 😀

  18. Hilarious comment (and spot on), Robert. The article on Hyatt’s toiletries should be satire, but apparently it’s not.

  19. Love the satire buts it true hotels are getting more paying guests in their hotels/suites so why bother with Big Travel Small Money customers. I think same will happen to airline miles if they start filling 100% of their first class suites with paying customers.

  20. Lol Good one!

  21. I usually don’t read the satire posts but I really like this one. Points Envy makes a very valid points that people staying on points and otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford to pay regular rate at a luxury hotel does dilute the image of the brand. The is dead on from a marketing perspective.

  22. I couldn’t agree more. Hotel points programs and stupid and useless. Until I started getting into the churn and burn, I never joined hotel loyalty programs, because they were valueless in the first place. so if they are devaluing more… who cares.

  23. hence the foolishness of the pts game. when on biz, my company pays, when on personal $$ I call up the hotel and try to negotiate a better rate or room, forget the credit cards and go out there and make some money, it will just free your mind of useless busy-work.

  24. I read the headline and thought “YES! they reversed their decision!”


  25. Agree with most of the posts… This doesn’t really fit with this blog. I have other places I go for humor & satire

  26. Wtf is this satire pos every week?

  27. I don’t understand why so many commenters seem so offended by satire, which nobody is forcing them to read. I guess all the recent program devaluations have put people in a bad mood.

  28. Actually this is one of your better satire post.
    It’s not too funny, but interesting thought process.

  29. How I can buy my new shoes every single day if my dad not devaluation your points?

  30. Daraius can post whatever he likes, after all this is his site. If you don’t like the Points Envy posts, don’t read them.

  31. I’m honestly appalled at the amount of ignorant comments. Ignorance not just stemming from the lackluster reading comprehension (there’s a Satire disclaimer up top, if you don’t like it or don’t understand the definition, don’t read or click the definition that’s hyperlinked already), but ignorance from this self-entitlement of spoon feeding that has spoiled the majority of our society, as indicated from the comments.

    This is a blog. This is a free blog. This is a blog that offers you something of value for free. Stop being such entitled, spoiled little brats and learn to appreciate.

    If you can’t understand the intelligence and sarcasm from this entry, ignore it, or educate yourself a bit more so you don’t come off as an ignorant fool.

    I enjoy these posts – look past the text and interpret the sarcasm.

  32. I love these! Please keep posting! I think people don’t realize this is SATIRE! Maybe you should use an easier word for others to understand, maybe “sarcasm?”

  33. Aaron Wininger

    These are pretty fun. Like it better than the regular posts actually.

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